I want to hold my rose hair tarantula and a question about her eating habbit?

I got my baby Wichita about one week ago. She is one years old and has about a 3 inch leg span. I want to hold her but im kind of afraid. I have attempted to before but got scared. She is a good spider and im just dying to hold her. Also I have been feeding her pre-killed crickets/mealworms, she used to eat them but stopped and she would run away when i dropped them in her cage. Is she full or should I go back to live crickets?